So last night I had this crazy dream. Don’t worry, this is Big Sister’s blog, not Little Sister’s – it’s a rated all audiences story. Now, as I was saying… last night I had this crazy dream.
I was in the small city airport that I would usually fly out of when I had my big girl job. It was in that scenario I found myself in my dream. There was a lot going on when I arrived that was distracting and caused general confusion all around. It was in this confusion that misplaced my bag. As the confusion began to settle, my first boarding call was announced. It was then that I realized that I no longer had my bag. I felt panic and my brain went into overdrive. I must have put it into a locker for safe keeping? But what locker? There were at least a hundred. And they were all combination locks, so now it was finding the locker and the combination. The panic went up exponentially and I started trying them all. Moving from locker to locker, sometimes in pattern, mostly erratically. All the while, my boarding call time drew closer according to the booming announcements. I finally had the sense to enlist the airport staff in my search and during this time I did find my wallet and my sweater, but not my bag. I needed that bag! It had “everything” in it including my pretty gold travel wallet containing my passport. I continued to search frantically, getting everyone else around me in a frenzy.
“This is the final boarding call for passenger Sue. Please proceed to gate 5 immediately. The final checks are being completed and the captain will order for the doors of the aircraft to close in approximately one minute. I repeat. This is the final boarding call for Sue. Thank you.”
The last boarding call was being made, I wasn’t going to make it!
I woke up.
Laying there, half awake in the middle of the dark night, my first thought was…”If I was flying in Canada (which I would have been as I was leaving from my small city airport) I didn’t need my passport. I just needed my driver’s license. Which would have been in my wallet. Which I found. Along with a nice cozy sweater.
Why would I have kept looking for everything else when I had everything I needed right in front of me? And there my lovelies, is the million dollar question.
I’m in the midst of beginning a few new journeys in my life: creating work I love (with no “real” job/scheduled pay cheque), engaged and planning a wedding and trying to do everything authentically, in my own truth. Seems to me the airport scenario was a very good analogy my little ol’ brain came up with in dreamland. When one is at the pre-boarding point of any new journey, it is incredibly easy to let our ego brains take over the controls and run around our heads making up every possible scenario and outcome. But when we do that, we only add to the general chaos surrounding around us and potentially miss what’s right in front of us. Sigh, seems my brain may be much smarter when I’m sleeping.
This live your truth journey, is not for the faint of heart. It is tough. I mean really tough. These first six weeks of 2016 have contained a multitude of ups and downs, a few tears and a whole lot of fighting the ego driven urge to try every possible lock in hopes of hitting the right combination to open all the doors.
Instead, I am learning to stop, refocus, listen and to really see what is right in front of me, right now. It means clearing the confusion of clutter and expectations to create a quiet, clear space within ourselves in which to deal with fears as they arise. Allowing these fears to be acknowledged, debunked and set free and not thrown hidden under a mountain of new shoes, potential projects and other distractions.
How do we do this? Is there a generic set of guidelines to follow? Oh how I wish. I believe it is an individual formula, one we all must discover for ourselves. But these tried and true tips I will share:
- It begins with stopping.
- Taking a very deep breath.
- Trusting that what you really need to make it through the journey is right in front of you.
P.s. Dealing with fears at the beginning of a new journey is scary. I suggest creating your very own “Soul Patrol” of friends, professionals and experts to shed their light in areas that may be too dark and scary for you to venture into alone.